my baby

So it is not secret that I love animals, almost every kind, and the ones I don't like I can enjoy for I know others do like that particular animal. They say you are either a dog or a cat person and I am very much a dog person. I have this tug in my heart everytime I see a dog...doesn't matter what kind, doesn't matter if i know them or if they are even right in front of me in real life. I love them. I am spending time with a cat this week and don't get me wrong...I LOVE THIS CAT but i don't feel the same tug when I see him (or other cats for that reason) as I do a dog.

Yesterday I lost my one true tug in my heart, our dog of 12 years was put to sleep. She was the love of my life. Yes yes i know its an animal...she was more then that though, she was my confident, she was the one I told every secret to, she was my laughter, my smile, my heart and soul...

I would do anything for that dog, and I have. I have taken her away from my parents so I could have someone to talk to on the weekends when they were gone. This past weekend I drove between 2 houses to take care of my friends cat and my dog. Yes it was a pain and a lot of driving, but she was my baby and I would do it again if I had to.

Now I won't get the chance, no more hugs, no more curling up beside her, no more kisses, no more telling her stories b/c I was bored and no one was answering the phone. No more having my mom bug me to get her nails cut, which I hated doing b/c I felt like I couldn't protect her from the pain. No more sitting outside for hours b/c it is sunny or playing in the snow. No more loving her...

I know it will take a long while for the huge gap in my heart to heal, I will be patient, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I have not been home yet to see the empty house and this I am not looking forward to. I can't even fathom not seeing her happy face when I walk through the door.

People always say this about their pets...I have the best cat, hamster, dog...she may not have been the best but I will say this...everyone who walked through the door of our house, and met this wonderful creature, adored her. She was my puppy dog, my baby and I will miss her for the rest of my life.

Iggy, you know that I love you, I couldn't have said it more, couldn't have shown you better, my only regret is I didn't get to say goodbye. I hope you are having fun with Tootsie and watching out for my papap. I love you...